I am a failure as a dad 14 / 20 March 2009
 
I cry
Each day 
Over my
Version of spilled
Milk
- Soy milk -
Fragments
I am a failure as a 
Dad
That's why my eyes 
Look sad
Snippets
Of their lives
Is what is handed
To me
I watch them
Do their swim class
Exercises
Through the window
While my oldest
Is not even with me
On this Saturday &
Sunday
He's off skating
A birthday party
All the fun things
The four of us do
Create a slight sense
Of guilt
As if I'm trying to
Prove
How good a dad I am
The first half hour
Of every new weekend
Is a reconnaissance
Mission on both
Sides
How's the pack
Today?
Is the alpha male
Still
Accepted?
How's the hierarchy
Today?
Do they miss their
Mum?
Do they feel I take
Them away from her?
Would they rather stay
In the place 
Where they live on
The weekdays?
Do they countdown
The weekend until
It's time to go away
Again?
We do bond &
We are close
But sometimes I
Feel
I'm the sitter
For the
Weekend
So that mummy
Can go off &
Have a good time
I am a failure
As a dad
For a dad should be
There for his kids
Seven out of seven
Days
Fragments
We weed the garden
After Sunday breakfast
Clock is ticking
T minus 2 hours
Until the dreaded
Phone call
Rings
And we are
Released
From our
Weekend bond
That's why
My eyes look
Sad
Their weekday 
Stories
Their schooldays
Their Wednesday
Play
With friends
I do not 
Know
Nor will ever
Know
Their lives do 
Not exist for me
Outside my cursedblessed
Weekends
I am a failure
As a dad